Robyn's Nest

New Year!

2012-01-02T14:27:00.001-05:00

I love New Years: turning the page, taking what I've learned, leaving behind what I don't need, recommitting to the person I am when at my best.

In 2012, I intend to:

Articulate gratitude
Run
Eat clean
Play
Read
Breathe
Be patient

Breakfast with Santa

2011-12-18T12:16:00.001-05:00

We enjoyed our 2nd Annual Breakfast with Santa this morning at the beautiful Carolina Inn this morning. Such a magical tradition!

As soon as Santa walked in Fiona looked at me and said, "Mama, let's go see him!" Of course when it was her turn to sit on Santa's lap, she feel to the floor kicking and crying - but quickly recovered, walked right up to him, and said, "I want peas and carrots !". Our wonderful girl DOES love her veggies. I hope I never forget how much fun Fiona is at this age!

A few pictures from the morning, complete with classic kid-picking-nose shot:

First Haircut!

2011-12-17T09:51:00.002-05:00

A Tea Party I Can Get Behind

2011-10-23T12:30:00.001-04:00

We enjoyed a little Sunday morning tea in our PJs - although Fiona was equally excited about the box the tea set arrived in thanks to long time family friend Marilyn.

Fall Fun

2011-10-22T22:07:00.001-04:00

October remains my favorite month and we've been loving every second of North Carolina's beautiful fall. The last two weekends have been filled with corn mazes, pumpkin patches, and jack o lanterns!

Recent pics from our fall adventures are below (and represent my first attempt at posting directly from my phone! Here's hoping technology helps me post more often!):

Moving!

2011-09-09T19:51:00.003-04:00

This lovely 1929 bungalow could be yours!

New job this summer, new house this fall? That's right, we're moving! Or at least trying to.

After 5 wonderful years, we're selling our beloved 1929 bungalow in downtown Durham: 3 beds, 1 bath, hardwood floors throughout, lots of original fixtures, classic front porch, back deck perfect for entertaining, walking distance to all that is cool about Durham! Pictures and details are available HERE. Thanks for spreading the word to folks you know who might be interested.

But, not to worry: We're not moving far. We're under contract for a home just a few blocks away that we can imagine spending the rest of our lives in....if we can sell the bungalow in the next 6 weeks!

The Schryer Family Farm is for sale too!

Equally exciting: My parents are also selling their Asheville farm so that they can move closer to us -- or more accurately, their favorite granddaughter! If you know someone looking to make the move to the Western North Carolina mountains, this is the perfect house: mountain views, completely renovated, acreage, 2 barns, pool, organic garden plot, heaven. Learn more at:

http://www.century21.com/property/106-turkey-creek-road-leicester-nc-28748-C2136888183

Fiona's 2nd Birthday

2011-08-15T12:37:00.002-04:00

Blowing out her candles during her birthday dinner at home

Our amazing girl turned 2 years old at the end of July. This time last year, I was overwhelmed with a sense of awe, and frankly relief, that we'd made it through that first transformative year. This year, my central emotion was one of deep, deep gratitude. I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be this little person's mother and have her in my life. Yes, parenthood remains (and I suspect always will be) the hardest thing I've ever done, but it also is the the most joy-filled, most fun, most amazing. Again, I'm reminded of just how true all of the cliches are: The days ARE long, but the years ARE so short. I hope that Fiona will always have the curiosity, playfulness, persistence, adoration, intuition, - and sense of rhythm! - that she does now.

To celebrate her birthday, we continued last year's tradition of opening her present from us on the morning of her actual birthday and then celebrating as a family with a special birthday breakfast at her favorite restaurant.

A blurry phone picture capturing Fi's first look at the new kitchen we gave her for her birthday. In putting that sucker together, we joined the long line of well-intentioned parents who have stayed up too late arguing, while attempting to assemble a kid's toy that promised to be easy. Really, REALLY glad she REALLY liked this thing.

The Saturday following her birthday, we hosted a wonderfully low-key party - Fiona's Birthday Brunch at the Bungalow for family and her two best friends from preschool. In honor of Fiona's deep obsession with Curious George, brunch had a monkey theme. Everyone went bananas - and had a lot of fun!

Fourth of July Weekend

2011-07-10T12:35:00.000-04:00

We spent Independence Day weekend with Grandma & Grandpa Fehrman in the gorgeous Western North Carolina mountains. Enjoy few pictures from our 3-day weekend get-a-way:

View from the porch and site of evening fireworks

Fiona and Grandma Fehrman showing off Cotton in the neighborhood Fourth of July Dog Parade!

Sprinting across the lawn, running from American flag to American flag

With Grandma & Grandpa watching the other dogs on parade

Where We've Been

2011-06-02T11:02:00.006-04:00

Our little hiking navigator

Not to worry -- we're finally finding our way back to this blog! Here's what we've been up to for the past two months.

In April, we enjoyed hosting the Fehrman side of our family for Easter. Neighborhood egg hunts, Easter brunch, and surprises from the Easter Bunny were enjoyed by all.

Fiona - with festive face paint - at our neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt

Dyeing Easter eggs -- and narrowly avoiding huge messes every second!

Hunting eggs left in our backyard by the Easter Bunny on Easter morning.

Dressed up for Easter Brunch

April also ushered in a new family first: Swim Lessons! Fiona LOVED taking parent/child swim lessons at our local YMCA. Although slightly terrifying for her parents, her lack of fear was amazing. We'll definitely be signing her up for the next series of classes soon.

We also enjoyed visiting with dear friends in Wilmington (who have a beautiful baby girl with whom Fiona is obsessed -- and naming all of her dolls / stuffed animals after), a return to regular farmer's market trips, and spring, spring, spring!!

In May, we traveled to Asheville to visit with the Schryer side of our family.

Fiona running through the pasture at the Schryer family mini-farm

Fiona using her best "gentle hands" with a baby bunny we found - and very soon released back into the wild!

We're extremely excited that my parents will be starting the process of moving here this summer! My dad moves here in July and mom will follow after the Asheville house sells (hopefully quickly!). In the market for a beautifully and completely renovated 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom, 5 acre mini-farm with barns, pastures, and an incredibly fertile garden plot in the gorgeous Western NC mountains? I can hook you up!

May also meant A LOT of professional activity for both Ryan and me. I'm excited to announce that as part of that activity, I accepted a new job! I've been named the new Executive Director of Teach for America - Eastern North Carolina. I'm thrilled by the opportunity to spend every day advocating for educational equity for all kids. I start in late June.

We ended the month with a wonderful week-long family vacation to Ocracoke Island. The week was full of delicious fresh seafood, ocean swims with our water baby, sand castles, bike rides, sailboat viewing, and spur of the moment adventures. We've now been to this tiny island on North Carolina's Outer Banks four times and it is truly our little family's special place.

Loving every second of the beach

Touring the Ocracoke lighthouse

Shelling early in the morning with the beach to ourselves

Fiona enjoying her very first ice cream cone after a long, hot bike ride through the village.
I am actually a lot more amused and have fewer chins than it appears!

Exploring hermit crabs at Springer's Point

Fiona is now 22 months old and talking in complete sentences as if she never could not. She knows her colors, sings constantly (ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle, and the Hokey Pokey are currently on her playlist), and is beginning to count! Watching this transformation has truly been incredible.

We remain so full of gratitude for this amazing life.

Where has the time gone?

2011-05-19T14:15:00.001-04:00

I know, I know...

You're missing entertaining pictures of our fabulous gal and stories from our adventures in parenthood and life (wait, what other life? ). It's been a VERY busy past month!

I've decided to make this a private blog: open to all friends and family, but protected from the general public. If you're a regular reader and want to be sure you continue to have access to our updates, please leave a comment or send me your email address directly.

More from us soon!

In Support of Family

2011-04-12T08:59:00.002-04:00

My brother-in-law Joel

Many of you know of my love for endurance sports and followed my Tri to End Homelessness journey throughout 2007 & 2008. This year, I'm thrilled that my brother-in-law Joel has caught the endurance sports / doing good bug. In May, he will be riding in the Stars & Stripes Challenge to raise funds for the IOTR Cancer Research Institute. Because our family has been touched by cancer and has directly benefitted from IOTR's work, we've donated to support Joel's effort. I hope you will too.

Here's the letter Joel sent to family and friends about his motivation:

Friends,

This week I threw my hat over the wall and registered for a bike race on Memorial Day weekend. I know when you look at my physique the first thing that comes to mind is a professional biker, but I assure you that is not the case. I have a significant amount of training ahead of me in the next couple months; currently I am a master of downhill elements only.

The ride I am participating in is put on by the Palmetto Peloton Project to raise funds for the new ITOR cancer research center in Greenville, SC (http://www.itor-ghs.org/ ). My mother was diagnosed with Stage Four cancer eight years ago, and part of the reason she is still here today is due to emerging technologies like those being developed at ITOR. Today she volunteers her time to support ITOR's efforts, and we both believe the work being done there will make a positive impact on the lives of many families struggling with this disease. Her story and details of the ITOR programs that helped her are featured here:
http://www.journalwatchdog.com/city/1022-cutting-edge-research-its-happening-here

and here:

http://www.greenvilleonline.com/article/20101013/NEWS/310130047/Faster-more-advanced-cancer-care-focus-of-new-oncology-research-center

Cancer has touched us all in some way, and I hope that you can make a small contribution in reflection of the impact it has had on your life. I am hoping for a large number of small donations rather than large donation amounts. The Palmetto Peloton Project is a 501 (3)(c) organization (Tax ID is 20-5058568), so your contribution is tax deductible. If you wish to contribute to my effort you can do so here (select my name from the drop-down box at the top of the page), and don't forget to use any employer matching contributions that may apply: https://secure.p3ride.org/donate/index.php?eid=1

Thanks,

Joel

20 Months: Please, Thank-You, Mine!

2011-04-04T09:00:00.000-04:00

"Good manners have much to do with the emotions. To make them ring true, one must feel them, not merely exhibit them.” - Amy Vanderbilt

Fun with bubbles at the monthly Trinity Park Neighborhood Association playdate

Fiona is now 20 months old! (Internal Mommy Note: How can we possibly be this close to a 2-year old. Shocking, this growing-up thing is -- just shocking.) This month she's been practicing her manners and has become quite adept at using "please" and "thank you" -- although I sometimes suspect she's using them purely to get what she wants and not necessarily to express profound gratitude. She's clever, this one. Fiona has also been very interested in sorting out the people and things in her world. All grown-ups are currently either mommies or daddies - and every grown-up is fascinating. And while sharing is something she occasionally engages in, she clearly knows what is "mine." (Pause for this toddle parent to take a deep breath.)

Even amid the deep breathing, I have to say that I am so, so enjoying this age. Fiona is simply an enormous amount of fun. Yes, sometimes parenting a toddler is a new kind of physically and emotionally exhausting - as everyday we're challenged with how to intentionally parent in a way that will help our child be kind and have boundaries, be curious and be safe, be persistent and know when to ask for help - but overall, the word of this month is fun. Pure fun.

The month started with some still cool weather. We bundled up and enjoyed hiking at the Eno River State Park

Wait for me, Daddy!

March quickly became warm enough for us to enjoy lots of time outside, including this first al fresco dinner of the season.

Fiona finally able to enjoy the sand and water table Grandma & Grandpa Fehrman gave her for Christmas.

We enjoyed participating in the Marry Durham festivities - a festival celebrating our city. Fiona enjoyed making a head-dress at the kiddie craft station.

We hosted a Spring Equinox cookout for 30 friends and ALL of our children. Amid all of the fun, the only picture I captured was of these carrot cake cupcakes I made for the party. Delicious, if I do say so myself!

The month ended with a brief return to cold, rainy weather, which meant lots of time indoors -- and plenty of opportunities for Fiona to maul her poor Mommy.

Date with Daddy

2011-03-30T08:44:00.002-04:00

Last week, we dealt with yet another (thankfully very mild!) illness that kept Fiona out of preschool for several days. Luckily that meant she got to spend one of those days having a wonderful date with Daddy in Chapel Hill.

Nothing starts a Daddy-Daughter date like breakfast at Ye Olde Waffle Shoppe and the opportunity to use a big girl cup!

Touring the UNC-Chapel Hill campus and drinking from the Old Well.

Smelling flowers and enjoying the early spring weather at the Arboretum.

Using the Morehead Planetarium sundial as a slide.

Not a bad day for a "sick" child

This Morning at the Bungalow

2011-03-15T09:06:00.000-04:00

This morning Fiona woke up at 6:30 am - but did not want to get out of her crib when I went in to get her. When I smiled and said, "You're being a silly, little monkey," she responded, "I know!"

I treasure these ordinary moments.

19 Months: She's Got Personality

2011-03-02T12:14:00.002-05:00

“It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.” - Unknown

Fiona is now 19 months old and her personality is in full bloom. She's an independent, curious, on-the-go gal who likes to ham it up! This month's most signficant development is Fi's transition to the older toddler/ 2-year old classroom at her preschool. She's so, so ready to be around older kids, but we're in shock that our baby really is growing up!

This month she's enjoyed:

Practicing smiling on command...at the wine shop. Who wouldn't be happy there?

...and at Elmo's - our favorite family restaurant for which she now asks by name!

Hiking in Asheville with Robyn's best friend of 21 years and her 5-month old son

Reading very important literature with Grandma F

Learning to (sort-of) ride her tricycle with Grandma S (aka Gra-Mougie)

A few wonderfully sunny days of unseasonably warm weather. Bring it on, Spring!

One thing she didn't enjoy?

Being sick for a whole week! GI virus, turned respiratory virus, turned pneumonia. Yuck!

Fun on the Farm

2011-02-15T13:11:00.003-05:00

“Only he can understand what a farm is, what a country is, who shall have sacrificed part of himself to his farm or country, fought to save it, struggled to make it beautiful. Only then will the love of farm or country fill his heart.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Fiona and I recently enjoyed our first girls-only road trip: a weekend visit home to my parent's mini-farm in Asheville. Our little one is definitely a farm girl. She loved everything about spending time outside with Grandpa, the chickens, horses, and Mr. Pig. I'm so grateful that as Fiona grows, she'll have this refuge from the hustle and bustle of our very city-fied life.

Fiona enjoying wide open space.

Helping Grandpa with morning chores

Mr. Pig was more afraid of Fiona than she was of him

Big horse. Little lady.

Little helper LOVES carrying her bucket.

Feeding Spot her breakfast

The animals were great, but riding around in the wheelbarrow was even better!

I love it here!

18 Months: Lots to Say

2011-01-31T08:58:00.003-05:00

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives” - Anthony Robbins

A rare, quiet, still moment in the life of this 18 month old

Fiona is now 18 months old and has A LOT to say! Her language skills have grown exponentially over the last month. She now accurately uses more than 20 words - with new ones magically coming out of her mouth every day. Our gal continues to grow physically too - she's now in the 85% for weight and 90% for height. We were proud to get a parenting gold star at her 18 month check-up.

Other notes from this month:

Fiona's current favorite song is the ABCs. She asks for it by name, saying "AaaaBeee, mama".
Dancing has become a new, super-fun activity. Fi readily stomps her feet, claps her hands, twirls , and makes a toddler-style fist pump whenever music starts playing.
Is teething ever going to be over? She's currently working on all 4 canine teeth at once. Ugh.
Fiona is now the loving mommy of her first babydoll. She loves this little thing -- and occasionally smothers it with her deep affection.

Swinging at Trinity Park with Daddy

Dancing in the kitchen while wearing ALL of my "bracelets"

Because, really, what outfit is complete without my trike helmet and purse?

Fiona with her baby

Snow Days

2011-01-14T08:52:00.003-05:00

"Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me.” - Carl Sandburg

With three snow/ ice events already under our belts here in central North Carolina, we're learning to expect the unexpected! This week, we enjoyed two and a half snow days -- somewhat tricky given the working parent / closed -preschool shuffle, but ultimately wonderful gifts of extra playtime with our girl.

Planning snow day activities for a young toddler requires a bit of creativity! This week we cooked together (we loved these yummy, healthy oatmeal cranberry cookies -- and Fi did a GREAT job standing on a chair next me, monitoring her spice jar & measuring cup!), visited our favorite museum's sanity-saving indoor playground (a Daddy-Daughter date while I attempted to get some work done), created lots of art, and eventually ventured outside:

Little Picasso

Showing Daddy what we made while perfecting her detached, artist look

Family Love

Decided to turn Fiona's obsession with babies into a snow day collage...which she promptly ripped to shreds two minutes after completing it!

After a long, icy walk through our neighborhood, Fiona ran around on our deck (the only place not covered in ice!) and found immense joy in playing with an old salad greens container. Simple pleasures.

17 Months: Wild Thing

2011-01-04T16:20:00.002-05:00

"Wild Thing, I think I love you...." - The Troggs

Mommy & Fiona enjoying the snow at Duke Park on December 26

Fiona is now 17 months old and is a wonderful wild thing in full swing! Whether running through the house at top speed, climbing all over us during our morning playtimes, investigating every nook and cranny of any room she's in, or fearlessly riding her rocking horse, our girl is ALWAYS on the move.

This month her personality has really blossomed in a new way. She's curious, kind, funny, talkative and always ready to laugh. She's also really developing her independence and testing boundaries with her parents -- as evidenced by the recent minature teeth marks on my cheek!

The biggest excitement from the past month has been Fiona's fascination with The Potty. At the risk of embarrassing my little girl for years to come, I'll simply say that she's very into mimicking her parents and has successfully tested out the little potty she received for Christmas on several recent occasions! We're not holding our breath that we'll be done with diapers any time soon, but we're happy about this development none the less.

Other notes from this month:

Fiona's vocabulary is growing daily and new, unprompted words are surprising us all of the time. She also seems to be learning a few colors. Just this week she successfully named "blue" and "green" items.
Fi knows nearly all of her body parts and can point to them on herself and others when asked.
She also knows lots of animal sounds and endlessly entertains her parents with them.
Teething seems like a never ending process for these poor little kids! She now has four molars and is working on two more bottom teeth.
Fi has a voracious appetite for reading (much to the delight of her English major mother). Books continue to be a huge part of her day. Ryan and I can now recite by heart the vast majority of board books we own.
One thing Fiona is NOT wild about: Being Messy. Our gal HATES to have messiness on her high chair tray or hands - and gets completely freaked out when she finds specks of dirt on the floor (which is quite often - hey, we're working parents who's cleanliness standards have fallen significantly since Fi entered our lives!). Wonder where she gets this Type A-ness?

Christmas 2010

2011-01-04T08:37:00.001-05:00

“Happiness is not a brilliant climax to years of grim struggle and anxiety. It is a long succession of little decisions simply to be happy in the moment.” - J. Donald Walker

Christmas 2010 was filled with family, food, and fun! We loved every moment of this season.

Prior to December 25, we traveled to South Carolina for a mid-December Christmas with the Fehrman family. Fiona quickly learned how this present thing works and enjoyed opening her presents, Mommy's presents, and Daddy's presents. We know that she will love the the sand and water table that Grandma and Grandpa F got for her -- as soon as it's warm enough for her to actually use it!

Fiona excited about Christmas morning #1

Meeting her new stuffed black bear from Grandma & Grandpa F.

Playing Santa while enjoying her grocery cart.

Christmas weekend, we enjoyed our first Christmas in Durham (hooray!) and hosted the Schryer family.

Fi's Christmas dress was wonderful find from our favorite kids consignment shop: The Red Hen

On the afternoon of Christmas Eve, we went to the Children's Service at Duke Chapel. This lively, festive 3pm service is truly designed around kids and will certainly be a new tradition for our family. Fiona loved her special Christmas dress (even if she did have to wear her usual Stride Right shoes with it because her frugal parents refuse to buy dress shoes that she'll wear once), dancing in the aisle to the sound of singing voices, and making her way through the children's bell-ringing processional with Gramougie.

Following the service, we enjoyed a tummy-warming Christmas Eve dinner of homemade butternut squash soup (HIGHLY recommend The Joy of Cooking's version!), traditional fondue, delicious salad, Holiday Cranberry Rum Cocktails, and the wonderful results of Aunty Holly's Christmas cookie-baking marathon. Fiona went to bed with the sounds of Grandma F's recorded voice reading her The Night Before Christmas...

....and then Santa came!

Fiona loved the Cozy Coupe that Grandma and Grandpa S helped Santa bring. From the moment she saw it on Christmas morning, she knew just what to do.

Christmas Day was filled with delicious food. For breakfast,we enjoyed Marmalade French Toast Casserole, Vegetable Cheddar Strata, and mixed fruit salad with vanilla yogurt and lime dressing. Dinner was a delightful feast, which we all helped prepare:

Dill Shrimp (a Schryer tradition that I can remember eating every Christmas!)

French Onion Soup Stuffed Mushrooms

Gingered Pear and Brandy Cocktails

Sea Scallops with Shitake Mushroom and Champagne Sauce

Truffled Lobster Risotto

Citrus, Red Onion, and Pomegranate Salad

Beef Tenderloin with Duxelles (for the meat eaters in our family)

White Chocolate Tiramisu Trifle with Spiced Pears

Cranberry Upside Down Cake

By the end of dinner, a White Christmas was upon us - and by Sunday morning, the ground was covered in more than 4 inches of beautiful snow. We took advantage of this rare opportunity to take Fiona on her first sled ride.

I would not change a thing about celebrating this most meaningful of holidays throughout the last month. We started a few new traditions, we stayed in the moment and on budget, we helped others, we enjoyed family, we rested, we sent letters to friends, we sang carols and decorated our house, we cooked amazing food, and *we*(meaning I) didn't stress (at least not as much as I have in the past!). Amen.

Santa Magic

2010-12-17T12:16:00.001-05:00

"It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. ~W.T. Ellis"

Mama, I really REALLY want to the touch the Christmas tree!

With just over a week to go until Christmas, Santa has already been working his magic in the Fehrman family!

Last Saturday, we enjoyed our first Breakfast with Santa at the Carolina Inn. Fiona was absolutely enchanted with the delicious buffet, magician, face painting, sparkling decorations, time on Santa's lap, and - of course! - the very, very long drapes that adorn every window of the Inn. Our girl will not miss an opportunity to play peek-a-boo!

This week, we wrapped up gifts for A and her 5-year old son C - the family currently living at Genesis Home that we adopted this Christmas. Clothes, shoes, perfume, and Legos were on Santa's list for them. While wrapping each gift, I couldn't help but say a little prayer that 2011 is better for A and C than 2010. May Christmas be full of joy for them - and for us all.

Race Report: Run at the Rock 2010

2010-12-07T10:14:00.003-05:00

“I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things... I play with leaves. I skip down the street and run against the wind.” - Leo F. Buscaglia

This past Saturday, I ran my 4th Run at the Rock 7-mile trail race.

I always love this race...at the finish line.

At the start line each year, I inevitably find myself FREEZING, endlessly debating clothing choices until the gun goes off, recollecting how hard this trail is, and wondering just how long it would take me to find a nice cup of hot coffee and warm cozy booth in which to gorge on brunch instead of completing the run ahead.

Nonetheless, I ran the darn thing again this year, again with my sister Rachel (and our dear friend Brooks Anne), and again I thoroughly enjoyed just about every second of it.

My intention this year was to simply to run in the woods, to spend time with friends, to play.

Mission accomplished.

Although it took me a good three of the seven miles to really feel warmed up, the singletrack trail was challenging, but not as difficult as it's been in years past. We enjoyed a conversational pace when we could think about something other than not tripping on the myriad of roots and rocks. We noticed the beautiful winter scenery. We grunted up the hills and congratulated each other at the finish -- where the traditional Run at the Rock soup tent was waiting.

My time was my second fastest of the four years I've run - although given where the race has always fallen in the calendar and my current life priorities, this race has never really been about time for me. Instead it's about being in the moment (which the terrain really requires!), breathing deeply (which is often difficult given the hills!), and feeling vibrantly alive. Thank you again, running.

2006 1:19:40
2007 1:07:45
2009 1:25:46
2010 1:18:21

Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas!

2010-12-06T10:54:00.001-05:00

"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love."

- Hamilton Wright Mabi

We had the most magical weekend officially starting our Christmas season. Our tree is now up, Christmas carols are playing regularly, and Santa-talk has begun.

Blurry phone picture of our small, sweet tree.

On Friday, I joined Fiona at her preschool for the annual holiday feast. There may be nothing more wonderfully heart-warming and laugh-inducing tham 30+ kids ages 0-4 "singing" We Wish You a Happy Hanukkah and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It was the best way to end a very busy week.

The holiday feast buffet BEFORE.

Mom & Fi AFTER enjoying the feast.

Saturday, we participated in Downtown Durham's Holiday Fun Fest and were treated to a beautiful and highly unusual early December snowfall. The city sparkled and the snow put us all in a good - and cold! - mood.

The Fun Fest included a miniature animal petting zoo. Fiona is clearly enthralled -- and perhaps a bit chilly!

No need for the artificial snow booth - we had the real thing!

Proof that Fiona actually LIKED being outside in the snow.

While downtown, we warmed up with hot chocolates at Beyu Caffee. Fiona wasn't sure what to think about her first sips of this sweet treat.

Um...I think I like it??

After the Fun Fest, we continued our adventure by traveling to our favorite Christmas Tree Lot operated by TROSA. This business raises funds for TROSA's substance abuse recovery programs and gives the women who run it important employment experience. As is our tradition, we picked out a very cute and very small tree that will fit in our very cute and very small bungalow.

Sunday we bought our first Christmas presents: Clothes, toys, and perfume for the Genesis Home family we adopted for the holidays and a Nancy Tuttle May original painting that Ryan and I are giving each other this year.

All in all, it was one those weekends full of joy and laughter that reminded me of how lucky I am to have the husband and daughter I do. Magic, just pure magic.

Thanksgiving 2010 in Pictures

2010-12-03T09:02:00.000-05:00

"Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.” - Kahil Gibran

A few pictures from Thanksgiving 2010!

The Sr. and Jr. Fehrmans

The Schryer, Fehrman, Dirito Family..with hostess Ray serving as photographer

Is it the Jr. Fehrmans or a plane! a plane!?

16 Months: Yes and No

2010-12-01T14:40:00.007-05:00

"Wise men (and little girls!) speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” - Plato

Our girl is now 16 months old -- and learning to communicate NO has been this month's most significant change. She's not actually saying "no" yet (although she is saying lots of other things!), but she sure knows how to shake her head to let Mom & Dad know when she does not want something!

This month we enjoyed celebrating Fiona's 2nd Thanksgiving with friends and both sides of our family -- although, in my heart it's her first holiday season. Last year at this time, we were the brand new parents of a 4 month old. I was back working full-time, still getting up once or twice in the night for feedings, and almost too sleep deprived to function. Given all of that, I feel a bit like I missed Thanksgiving and Christmas of 2009. Instead of being sad about that, I'm simply celebrating with gusto this year and considering it our first set of holidays as a (fully-functioning!) family.

While celebrating turkey day with Ryan's side of the family, Grandma F and I took Fiona to the Children's Museum of the Upstate. Fiona particularly loved the Toddler Lily Pad.

Watch out Mom!

I'm about to get ALL wet!

After Greenville, SC, we continued to give thanks by gathering with my side of the family in Winston-Salem, NC. We cooked a slew of gourmet side dishes and then saved ourselves by ordering a Bojangles turkey. Yes, that's right...a turkey from a fast foot restaurant. I, too, was a skeptic at first, but my sister had scoured the Internet finding a myriad of positive reviews. I now can say that Bojangles might just be a new family tradition. It was amazingly delicious. And as a member of our quasi-vegetarian family, Fiona certainly enjoyed her first tastes of turkey!

Other notes from this month:

Fiona now has 2 molars - with a 3rd about to be here any day! There have been some long nights for this poor teething girl -- and her parents!
She is now successfully feeding herself with a spoon and is beginning adventures in fork-dom. Sometimees the food actually makes it to her mouth!
Fi seems to have developed a completely new level of empathy for those around her. While she was in the kitchen, I accidentally cut my thumb cooking dinner a few weeks ago. Fiona became visibly upset, made the sign for "hurt", and still continues to want to check on my boo boo on a regular basis.
Our little girl also had her 15-month well-child check this month. Over the last 12 weeks, she grew 3 inches and gained 3 pounds!! She's now in the 90th percentile for height and 85th for weight. Tar Heel b-ball superstar in the making? Oh yes! At least if her Dad has any say in the matter.

Persistence Pays Off

2010-11-19T15:37:00.002-05:00

“The most essential factor is persistence - the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come.” - James Whitcomb

Fiona is officially walking. Over the last few weeks, a switch has been flipped inside her and she's now practically running through our house as if she never knew how not to. Through learning to walk, she's once again taught me a needed and inspiring lesson about the value of persistence. The next time I'm frustrated and feeling negative about work or my never-ending to-do list or running or, or, or.... I'm going to remember Fiona learning to walk -- and I will get up and try again.

Embracing Fun

2010-11-15T09:35:00.000-05:00

" Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”
- Anthony Robbins

Ryan and Fiona on a typical weekend morning in the Fehrman household.

Weekends with the Fehrman are all about embracing fun. As full-time working parents with important, meaningful, and often stressful jobs, we live for Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday -- and strive to be intentional in making the most of these special days together. Food, play, and outside time usually play a central role and this past weekend was no different.

Friday night Indian takeout was followed by a Saturday morning hike at the Eno River State Park and a long afternoon of playing at Trinity Park.

Gorgeous morning for a 4-mile family hike along the Cox Mountain trail

Saturday evening gourmet grill-out was followed by Sunday morning playtime at Duke Gardens.

Flying with Daddy

Learning to climb Magnolia trees

And the weekend came to a close with the Trinity Park Neighborhood Association Food Truck Rodeo!

Deciding Not to Run

2010-11-08T09:37:00.002-05:00

“'Think simple' as my old master used to say - meaning reduce the whole of its parts into the simplest terms, getting back to first principles.” - Frank Lloyd Wright

After another max capacity week of working full-time, parenting full-time, partnering full-time, thinking full-time, and running little, I drove home from work on Friday afternoon and decided NOT to run the City of Oaks Half-Marathon.

Simply thinking about the logistics of daylight savings, packet pick-up, nutrition, and cold-weather gear amid all the noise of the week that had just finished and the potential promise of a quiet weekend ahead made me crazy. In a previous life, this would have been nothing, but on this particular Friday afternoon it was enough to send this mom over the edge. Nowhere did I see any joy in this race.

Registering for the race was my way of encouraging myself to again find some consistency in my running. And I achieved that goal long before race day. My best run of the last few months was the 10 miler I ran on trails in Moses Cone State Park as part of the yoga & running retreat I participated in a few weeks ago.

So instead of waking early on Sunday morning, braving the cold, and joining a few thousand others for what I'm sure was a great race, I slept in, made delicious homemade waffles for my family, read the paper, ran a quick 5 miles, warmed my post-run belly with slow-cooked veggie chili & cornbread, got a lot done around the house and enjoyed a carefree afternoon walk to our local brewery with my favorite running buddy and her dad. A perfect, joyful, and simple race day if you ask me.

5 Years

2010-11-04T13:07:00.001-04:00

On October 29, Ryan and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. Now more than ever, I am grateful for this amazing partner in life. My brother-in-law read this selection from Kahlil Gabran's The Prophet at our wedding and it remains such powerful guidance for our marriage.

You were born together,

and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when the white wings

of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the

silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.

Let it rather be a moving sea between

the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,

but let each of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone

though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together.

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress

grow not in each other's shadow.

We celebrated with the perfect at-home date night that included this fabulous menu:

Sea Scallops with Champagne & Shitake Mushroom Sauce
Spinach & Sweet Potato Salad with Warm (veggie!) Bacon Dressing
Rosemary Garlic Bread
Tiramisu Cake from Mad Hatter's Bake Shop

15 Months: Becoming a Person

2010-11-04T12:54:00.004-04:00

"To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life. " - Robert Louis Stevenson

Fiona is 15 months and is truly her own little person. The past month has been filled with more talking:

And more walking:

Learning to care for others:

Fiona pretending to feed the new doll Grandma Fehrman gave her.

Lots of time playing outside:

Fi and Mommy at Trinity Park one early Sunday morning. Note and then ignore the bags under Mom's eyes.

Fiona exerting her independence and trying to get far away from Mommy while playing in our backyard.

And, of course, some seasonal fun:

Loving everything about pumpkins at the wonderful fall festival we attended at a friend's farm on Halloween weekend.

Fiona as lion. She enjoyed cuddling with this costume more than she enjoyed wearing it!

This month Fiona is loving:

Books - as always. She's particularly enamored with The Story of Martin Luther King Jr., a board book that age-appropriately tells the story of MLK's work in our country. Do we have a future civil rights leader on our hands?
Her new Dora the Explorer electric toothbrush. This small investment has been a godsend, turning brushing Fi's teeth from an every night fight into something she loves to do.
Sorting, categorizing, and generally taking things out of one place and putting them into another - particularly into her purple felt purse -- which she actually carries on her shoulder, just like mom.
Babies: Pictures of babies, babies at school, saying the word baby over and over and over again.

Weekend Update: Fall Family Fun

2010-10-18T09:34:00.004-04:00

"When you look at your life, the greatest happiness are family happinesses” - Dr. Joyce Brothers

Fiona in her Baby Tar Heel t-shirt, excited that the Tar Heels won on Saturday! Or..laughing hysterically after biting the heck out of Mom's finger. You decide.

Fall is here -- and helped make this past weekend a wonderful one for family fun.

Ryan's parents came to Durham for a visit. Throughout the weekend we enjoyed great food, dining outside, and lots of outdoor playtime. Some highlights:

Playing at Duke Park on Saturday and Trinity Park on Sunday. Fiona loved exploring on her own at both parks. We also met 2 other Fiona's while we were playing! We're so lucky to live in a neighborhood surrounded by wonderful places to play.

Three generations of Fehrmans at play.

I love going down the big girl slide with Mommy!

Riding on the firetruck with Grandma Fehrman.

Miss Independent.

Saturday afternoon, Fiona and I showed Grandma our favorite place at the NC Museum of Life and Science while Ryan and Grandpa kept the home fires burning and the football games on.

T-Rex? Eh. The other kids here are much more interesting creatures.

After Fiona went to sleep on Saturday night, Ryan cooked an amazing fusion dinner for us: Caribbean Tuna Tacos with Coconut Rice, Cinnamon Black Beans, Pineapple & Mint Salsa, and Guacamole Salad. The food was delicious beyond words. The company and setting - tiki torches aglow - could not have been better.

Sunday we all enjoyed a jazz brunch, I treated myself to an 8 mile run in Duke Forest, and then ran errands, before Grandma & Grandpa Fehrman gave us the wonderful gift of a night out!

Ryan and I celebrated our 5th anniversary a couple of weeks early with dinner at Buku and watching Vampire Weekend under the stars at downtown Raleigh's new outdoor amphitheater. We danced pretty hard for an old married couple!

14 Months: Walkin' & Talkin'

2010-10-08T08:59:00.001-04:00

"To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”- Anthony Robbins

Daddy and Fiona enjoying the morning together

Fiona is now 14 months old!

This month, her biggest developmental leaps have centered around walking and talking. Although she's not yet walking completely on her own, she very much enjoys walking while holding on to one of our hands and can cruise our entire house while steadying herself on the walls and furniture. In addition to moving all of the time, she has become quite a talker, with new words coming out of her mouth all of the time. Although she's still speaking in much of her own language, she's recently learned to say "Uh-oh" when she drops something and "Cheers" when she has her cup in hand. Only the most important phrases for our girl!

Fi understands almost everything we say and is able to follow multi-step instructions -- when she feels like it! She's also learning to test boundaries, doing something she knows she's not supposed to do, while looking back at us with a devil-dog grin on her face.

She continues to love reading. She is currently obsessed with one of Ryan's childhood books: I Feel. The book is full of photographs of real children displaying different emotions, such as loving, sad, shy, jealous, happy, proud. Fi now claps and smiles when we read "good" or "proud", and leans down to hug and kiss the kids who are feeling "sad", "scared", and "hurt." It's amazing to see her emotional side develop and so, so cute.

Fiona also seems to be the most extroverted member of our family. She waves at everyone we see and actively seems to want to engage them. She very much loves the other children in her 1-year old class at our preschool and is learning to say their names.

Weekend Update: Family Camping 2010

2010-09-21T12:15:00.000-04:00

"The fire is the main comfort of the camp, whether in summer or winter, and is about as ample at one season as at another. It is as well for cheerfulness as for warmth and dryness." ~Henry David Thoreau

Each year for the past four, our family has chosen a weekend to camp together. We've mountain biked all over Tsali Recreation Area. We've ridden horses through Love Valley. Last year, to accommodate 4-month old Fiona, we combined family camping with Thanksgiving and traded roughing it for a beautiful vacation rental near Boone, NC. And this year, we met in the middle by spending two days in beautiful Hanging Rock State Park's family cabins.

My parents, sisters, and brother-in-law gathered for our annual trip this past weekend. We hiked, fished, sat around the campfire, made s'mores, spent all day outside, and enjoyed every minute.

Hiking to the top of Hanging Rock

Fiona dancing at the Hanging Rock summit

I love everything about this tradition. Without TV, email, or cell phones, nature's magic takes over. We enjoy the simplicity of each other's company. We play in the dirt. We're reminded that in addition to being family - we're also really good friends.

When Mom's Away....

2010-09-16T15:50:00.001-04:00

"A man's worth is measured by how he parents his children. What he gives them, what he keeps away from them, the lessons he teaches and the lessons he allows them to learn on their own." ~Lisa Rogers

This week our family experienced another first: Mom's first nights away and Dad's first several days of solo parenting. From the looks of the picture below that Ryan took while I was at three-day conference, Fiona thoroughly enjoyed her special time with Daddy -- although her hairstyling may have suffered!

Dinner with Dada

Weekend Update: Labor Day

2010-09-07T13:14:00.000-04:00

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time” - John Lubbock

We rested from our labors this weekend and enjoyed spending time doing our favorite things:

Eating outside

Being the first customer at Elmo's for breakfast on Sunday (at 6:56 am!)

Eating sticks while playing at Trinity Park

Picnicking at the Farmer's Market

Dressing up in leopard print tutus

You know, the usual stuff.

Interspersed among this wild fun: a quick (and successful!) fishing trip to Cedar Island for Ryan, a long run for me, several family naps, cheering for the Tar Heels, and an afternoon at the Museum of Life and Science.

The weather, company, activity, and rest couldn't have been better.

Chickens!

2010-08-31T08:41:00.002-04:00

Just have to share this sweet picture of Fiona taken at last week's Beehive Collective Local Foods Cookout.

One of my favorite things about Fi at this age is her complete fascination with EVERYTHING! Dust, doorstops, our wind chime, chickens....all are amazing in her eyes. Yet another lesson on perspective this gal is teaching me.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/abbyladybug/4942687013/

Weekend Update: The Family that Hikes Together...

2010-08-30T10:49:00.001-04:00

"In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks." ~John Muir

Daddy and Fiona pointing at....nature?

The Fehrman Family spent lots of time hiking together this weekend. Fiona loved spending time in our backpack, oohing and aahing as soon as she realized that height gives her a brand new perspective.

On Saturday, Fiona and I hiked the Al Buehler Trail in Duke Forest. Even after running this trail hundreds of times, walking it with a 24-pound friend on my back was a great workout!

On Sunday, the three of us hiked about 4-5 miles on the Dunnegan Trial at Eno River State Park. Wildlife was definitely the highlight of this trip.

Fiona wasn't sure that the baby toad we briefly captured was actually friendly.

However, the box turtle was quite intriguing.

After finishing our afternoon adventure in the 90 degree southern heat, we cooled off with a our first family trip to Locopops. Fiona enjoyed a few licks of her strawberry mango pop, but as usual, our social butterfly preferred to spend her time chatting with the other little kids that filled this Durham hot spot.

It won't be long until our little gal is hiking on her own!

13 Months: Independence Initiated

2010-08-27T11:59:00.006-04:00

"Let the wild rumpus start!" - Where the Wild Things Are

Fiona is 13 months old today! It seems that at 12 months and 1 day, our baby disappeared and in her place an independent toddler stood. Highlights of the last month include:

Fi is more more mobile than ever! Even though she's not walking on her own yet, she is never still. Instead, she's constantly scooting, crawling, standing up, squatting down, rolling over, pushing, reaching, and grabbing. This new found mobility is making for some interesting nights at our house. Several times each night for the last week, we've been awakened by our girl's cries and have found her like this:

I'm up!

Today is Fiona's last day in the infant room at her preschool. We are so grateful for the loving care that her teachers Melissa and Megan have provided over the last year. After slowly transitioning all of this week, she will be in the toddler room full-time on Monday. The transition has been hard on everyone involved, but Fiona loves being around "the big kids."

The toddler room has two requirements that have also required our family to adapt: Fiona now only takes 1 (long!) nap per day and drinks all of her milk from sippy cups. We're very excited about saying so long to bottle cleaning!

Fiona is talking more than ever - although most words still seem to be in a language that only she understands. We do clearly hear her say Mama, Dada, Cup, Dog, and Cat - and she seems to understand nearly everything we say.

Fi LOVES to read. Her current favorites (that we now have memorized) are: Where the Wild Things Are, Daddy Cuddles, Baby Einstein's Touch & Feel Farm Animals, and I Love You Stinky Face.

Just as our pediatrician warned us would happen, Fi has started being more picky about what she will and will not eat. She's still getting some vegetables down, but the list is getting shorter!

In total, it's been a big, big-kid month -- but being a big kid is hard work (for Fiona and her parents!)

In Search of a Training Plan

2010-08-25T12:08:00.002-04:00

"A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow." - Proverb

Eleven weeks from now, I'm registered to run the Rex Healthcare Half-Marathon in Raleigh, NC.

When I registered for the race, I was in search of a goal. The three years before Fiona was born that I spent training for triathlons reconfirmed my goal-oriented nature. I know for certain that laying down the cash for race registration will indeed help get me out the door when I'm tired or my running clothes are dirty or, or, or..... So, this race - with just enough distance to require more effort than my current 30-minute runs - is motivating me to actually get up for early morning runs before parenthood and work and the other parts of my life that involve others get going.

The problem?

I need a training plan that intentionally incorporates those other parts of my life!

At first, I thought I would train for a PR. With the right training, I know that I could run 13.1 miles in under 2 hours -- and, on the right day, maybe even run the race in 1:50. But, since I've decided that it's important for me to do most of my running during the week with my daughter as my training partner, I don't think that this is the year to run my fastest at any distance. Speed work, intervals, and hills might be possible while pushing a running stroller, but the likelihood of me actually completing those workouts when just getting out of the door feels like success is low. Could I miraculously run faster than ever before on race day once I'm untethered from the running stroller? I'd love to think so, but I know better.

I also took a look at the training plan my former coach and yoga teacher Sage Rountree wrote for Athleta. Most of the workouts seem achievable and I know that yoga helps my running through building my physical and mental strength. But these days, the I'm lucky to get one or two forward-facing folds in during my shower or the random sun salutation in front of Fiona's high chair as she eats breakfast. So, we'll see...

What I really need is a training plan that gets me ready to complete the half-marathon distance, but says something like this:

Monday - Focus your efforts on getting you, your child, and your spouse out the door dressed, fed, and ready to start the week. Give yourself a huge extra gold star if you also decide to go for a leisurely walk.

Tuesday - Run for anywhere from 10-50 minutes depending on (1) if you're pushing a stroller, (2) the weight of your child, (3) the number of hours of sleep you got Monday night, (4) your child's current ability to sit still. Pace, terrain, and distance do not matter. Heck, just get outside and walk up and down your driveway for a while. It's all good.

Wednesday - Cross-train. Bending over for much of the afternoon as you help your child learn how to walk counts. Carrying a 23 pounder for more than 10 minutes, picking finger foods off of the floor, and reading the same book 13 times in a row also count.

Thursday - See Tuesday.

Friday - Yoga. This could simply be breathing in and out with intention as you sit as the stop light on your way to work realizing that you have already been awake and working (in your first full-time job: parent) for more than 4 hours. Do not engage sivasana. You WILL fall asleep.

Saturday or Sunday - "Long" run or walk or hike depending on your family's needs, how much work (from the full-time job for which you get paid) you needed to bring home this weekend, and the amount of food / fuel currently in your refrigerator....or nap.

Wish me luck.

Weekend Update: Keeping it Local

2010-08-23T09:00:00.001-04:00

“The fight to save family farms isn't just about farmers. It's about making sure that there is a safe and healthy food supply for all of us. It's about jobs, from Main Street to Wall Street. It's about a better America.” - Willie Nelson

This weekend we were surrounded by summer's bounty: eggplants and peppers and zucchini, oh my!

Early Saturday morning, Fiona and I were some of the first visitors to the Durham Farmer's Market. We left Ryan at home to tame the yard before the heat of the day set in, and we enjoyed picking out veggies for this week's meals.

We'll be using these for roasted tomatoes, shrimp, & feta with angel hair pasta.

Saturday afternoon, the three of us ventured to our neighborhood's newest attraction: Fullsteam Brewery. Fullsteam prides itself on "plow to pint" beer - all made with seasonal, local, organic ingredients. We enjoyed the Summer Basil Farmhouse Ale, and Fiona enjoyed the bar's heavy supply of goldfish crackers. Pretty sure, those are far from local....

Notice the deft mommy maneuver: beer & pacifier in one hand.

Fi was enthralled with the juke box and quite uninterested in sitting still for pictures.

Sunday afternoon, we headed to Raleigh for a local foods cookout with our friends Les, Nicole, & Evan in support of The Beehive Collective: a group, primarily made up of young Raleigh women, that is pooling their collective talents and resources to organize fun projects that raise meaningful amounts of money for the causes they care about. Last year, they gave away more than $23,000 to two organizations working to increase economic security. This year, they are hoping to raise at least $20,000 to support nonprofit organizations working on sustainable food issues.

Our family still has a long way to go in ensuring that our values are aligned with how we eat - as our huge weekly bill at Super Target will attest - but it felt great to take a few small steps in that direction this weekend.

Our Family's Values

2010-08-20T08:53:00.000-04:00

"There are seven sins: wealth without work; pleasure without conscience ; science without humanity; knowledge without character; politics without principle; commerce without morality; worship without sacrifice."  - Mahatma Ghandi

Fiona has a new obsession: Hugging.

Over the last couple of weeks she has been offering hugs with increasing regularity and decreasing selectivity.  In short, everybody's getting a hug, all of the time: Mom and Dad, babies in her classroom, her teachers, the waitress at our favorite restaurants.

As her parents, we - of course - could not be happier. After the last year of give, give, give - we're now receiving such heartfelt and unabasheded love from this little person. Selfishly, it feels really good. It also feels like receiving a gold star on the parenting chore chart. Maybe, just maybe a few of our family values are already being imprinted on Fiona.   She's not yet reciting Ghandi's seven sins (which are hanging in our hallway), but we'll take hugging as indicator that we're headed in the right direction.

Weekend Update: A Pox Upon Our House?

2010-08-16T11:56:00.003-04:00

"I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day." — Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

Fiona just wasn’t herself this past week.

She came home from school each day completely exhausted, even having a never-before-seen complete meltdown – seemingly over an innocent zucchini muffin?– on Wednesday evening. By Thursday afternoon she had a fever of 101, and on Friday she won a day at home with Mom and Dad - who gamely did the sick kid / working parent shuffle – and a trip to our pediatrician.

The diagnosis? Virus. Watch, wait, treat symptoms.

She napped for a total of 5 ½ hours during the day and then slept a solid 13 hours that night. Saturday morning she still had a mild fever and was tired, but seemed in good spirits.

So good in fact, that I decided to take her to the NC Museum of Life and Science for a quick morning adventure while Ryan worked and Aunt Heather (who was visiting the weekend) rested.

Fi LOVES the museum, which is located just 2 miles from our house. It’s the perfect place for both a 45 minute walk or a full-on, day-long outing.

Fiona's reaction at her first sight of the museum's pot-bellied pigs.

We talked with the farm animals.

The museum's resident cow. Picture me holding Fiona and mooing up a storm.

We walked the dinosaur trail.

Ever the brave gal, Fiona is unfazed by T-Rex.

We oohed and ahhed in the butterfly house.

One of our many close encounters with butterflies inside the Butterfly House.

And then, I saw this on Fi’s ankle and it hit me: Fi wasn't just sick with any old virus. She was having a reaction to her recent varicella vaccine.

Is this chicken pox?

We called our pediatrician who assured us that (1) there was no need for concern and (2) Fiona was not contagious. And with that, we gave her some ibuprofen and went on about our weekend.

On Saturday afternoon, we traveled to Winston-Salem to celebrate my brother-in-law's 30th birthday.

Fiona at Dave's birthday party with the Schryer side of our family

It's not a party until you're semi-naked with an empty drink in your hand.

On Sunday morning, we savored the last of our weekend visit with Heather at Elmo's brunch.

We didn't take many photos of Heather & Fi this weekend - boo! Here they are two weeks after Fiona's birth.

Fiona at Elmo's enjoying a straw & strawberry jam for breakfast.

All in all, a delightful end to Fiona's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad week.

Weekend Update: Hard & Fun

2010-08-10T15:43:00.003-04:00

" It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." - Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

At one point this past weekend, there we were:

Ryan half-dressed, covered in sand, gap-mouthed and wondering what to do next.

Me just out of the shower, dripping wet but not actually in any way clean, exhausted from the logistics of a day that started MANY hours earlier, trying to hand off Fiona - also wet, slippery, and naked - who had just gone to the bathroom (NOT in her diaper).

Surrounded by the detritus of travel in the cramped bathroom of our dear friend's beach house that was being shared by more than 6 other people.

And I thought, "Are we having fun yet?"

The truth is, it was a really fun weekend. And it was a really hard weekend. Hard and fun. Just like all of parenthood has been up until now.

We saw old friends. We enjoyed the beach. We ate yummy food. We took Fi on new adventures. And we learned our limits when it comes to travel and kids.

Some highlights:

Taking Fiona to the North Carolina Aquarium and watching her enjoy the other kids just as much as the amazing sea life.

Touring Fort Macon and learning about this beautiful first state park

Enjoying a quiet sunset on the patio of our small, family-run motel.

Early morning walks alone with Fiona on the beach.

Breakfast with the locals at On A Roll in Morehead City - so good we visited twice!

Catching up with college friends over amazing, delicious, local seafood-filled meals

Returning home early enough on Sunday for a parents-only, recovery date night with dinner at Dos Perros and great seats at the Norah Jones show.

At one point during the weekend, a friend who is also a fellow mom and I were discussing parenthood. She noted that people talk about how hard it is more than the fun parts because it's easier. We have a language for the hard stuff. We also have a language for the fun stuff. But finding the words for where those two worlds meet is much more difficult. This weekend was that reality in action.

Running with Fiona

2010-08-04T12:21:00.005-04:00

"Run often and run long, but never outrun your joy of running." - Julie Isphording, marathon winner

Fiona at the 1.5 mile marker on Duke's East Campus path

On November 1, 2008 I crossed a finish line that took more than two years to reach.

Finishing the Beach 2 Battleship Half-Iron Triathlon was the culmination of hundreds of hours of training – sometimes running, biking, swimming, lifting weights, and practicing yoga upwards of 14, 15, 16+ hours a week. Through the process of becoming a triathlete, I reaped the rewards of patience and persistence. I worked hard and did things I before had never truly thought possible for me. I made great friends, experienced real joy, and had a tremendous amount of fun.

On November 13, 2008 I learned I was pregnant with Fiona and my newest endurance journey began.

After completing such an intense couple of training years, I enjoyed the forced respite that pregnancy in many ways provided. I exercised moderately throughout my entire pregnancy, including a long hike and hour-long swim with my sister the day before Fiona was born! Only very occasionally did I long for running really hard or biking for hours. For the most part, I trusted that I would have those opportunities again - but now was not that time.

After Fi was born, I quickly started walking – and then running – with her. I registered for my first post-partum race, trained, and loved running every (slow) second of it. Two months later, I ran a second, equally enjoyable race.

And then it all just got really hard.

I was back working full-time. I hadn’t yet recovered from the severe sleep deprivation of those first 7 months (not sure, I have yet either) when Fiona was still waking for night feedings. I was breastfeeding, which required that I not be away from Fiona for long (or have to add dreaded pumping sessions to the 3 I was already doing every day). I felt incredibly guilty leaving the house to run while Fiona was awake, which left very small windows of training opportunity. And because it was winter, the hours for daylight running outside were limited.

I was setting the alarm for 5 am, rushing to the gym for 30 minutes of silent pre-dawn treadmill time, rushing home to greet Fiona as she woke (or greeting my husband anxiously distracting a hungry baby if she decided to be an even earlier riser than usual), feeding my daughter with sweat still dripping down every inch of my body, showering, eating, playing, and arriving at work at 8 am completely exhausted.

No joy. No fun. Not worth it.

So, I stopped. Not intentionally, really. 5 am just started coming earlier, the snooze alarm seemed more within reach – and without a focused goal ahead of me, my motivation seriously waned.

Then something magic happened: Fiona’s waking & eating, my work schedule, and the sun all aligned – and I figured out how to run with her before going to work in the mornings

No guilt. No rushing. No exhaustion (well…).

I didn’t do anything differently except wait and accept and adapt. Three actions that reflect the kind of parent I’m learning I want to be – patient, understanding, and generally able to roll with whatever comes my way.

I still try to give myself the gift of solo long runs on the weekends, but for the most part, if I’m running during the week right now, I’m doing it with my daughter. I’ve traded speed work and hill repeats for a 22-pound, pajama-clad training partner.

We high-five. We chat about the day ahead. We wave hello and goodbye to our neighbors. We notice our surroundings and practice words: Do you see that big DOG, Fiona? What a pretty red BIRD that is! I have my water bottle and she has her sippy cup.

Based on what I’ve learned throughout this inaugural parent year, these morning runs may not last. The seasons will change. Fiona might sleep longer. She may wake up one day and hate the stroller.

But, for now it’s our time.

Weekend Update: Simple Pleasures of Everyday Life

2010-08-04T12:13:00.005-04:00

"Simple pleasures are always the last refuge of the complex. " - Oscar Wilde

The simple pleasures of everyday life filled our past weekend.

Friday night we enjoyed dinner and margaritas (Fi stuck to milk in a sippy cup) at our favorite cheap Mexican restaurant. We dined on the patio next to another couple and their 3-year old daughter Naomi. Fiona and Naomi immediately connected in that way that all little kids seem to do: I know you! You are my species! Let me stare at you and touch your face and pull your hair! Similarly, we quickly got to chatting with her parents: the pros and cons of various neighborhood parks, our kids matching farmer’s market t-shirts, sleeping.

Throughout this first year of parenthood, I’ve learned that having a child is a golden ticket into this secret club I never before knew existed. Immediately, I can connect with any parent, anywhere, anytime.

As has become our regular habit, we started Saturday morning with a walk to the Durham Farmer’s Market. Fiona’s first trip to the farmer’s market was at 2 weeks old. We enjoy the exercise and planning menus around whatever looks yummy - and Fiona loves the colors, other kids, and attention from strangers. This week’s bounty: zucchini for muffins later this week, tomatoes and fresh multi-grain bread for summer sandwiches & blueberries, just because.

After the market, we continued our urban hike through downtown with a stop for brunch at Parker & Otis before heading home. Later that afternoon we traveled to Raleigh to celebrate our friend Thomas Tripp’s first birthday – and to toast his parents Lora & Andrew on their successful first year as parents!

One of our goals for the weekend had been to keep Fiona entertained and engaged enough each day to stay awake until 11:30 am. Because she’s a few weeks away from transitioning to the toddler room at her school, we’ve been experimenting with one nap a day. Once again, just when I feel like we get something down – bottles, solid food, finger food – it changes! Saturday, the experiment was a grand success: Fiona was a happy, happy girl all morning, napped for 2.5 hours midday, and was the bell of the ball at our afternoon party. Sunday, not so much: Short midday nap meant that girlfriend spent some time in meltdown city and ended up going back down later in the day.

Sunday morning, I enjoyed a blissful solo 5- mile run in unseasonably cool weather at Duke’s cross-country course and then spent much of the rest of the day in life maintenance mode: groceries, cleaning, and – the latest – childproofing every corner of our house.

Let me out of this cage Mom!

The best parts of the day (other, of course, than the deep Type A satisfaction I felt after dropping off a huge load of clutter at Goodwill!), were my afternoon walk with Fiona around the neighborhood and dinner on the porch with Ryan by candlelight to close out the weekend.

Ryan's "Deconstructed Tuna & Avocado Roll"

It’s Monday evening as I write this, and I’ve spent the day at Duke’s Center for Living having minor surgery to remove basal cell carcinoma from forehead. After spending the day amid clinics and insurance and prescriptions and pain medication and forms and stitches and waiting and ever-present fluorescent lights, I’m grateful that this isn’t the stuff of my everyday life.

Instead, it's filled with simple pleasures like this:

Fiona's First Birthday

2010-07-29T08:50:00.004-04:00

Last Saturday we celebrated Fiona’s first birthday with a lunchtime party at our neighborhood park. Thirty friends, family, and kids joined us for the soiree themed around The Very Hungry Caterpillar – one of Fi’s favorite books.

Despite the temperature hovering near 100 degrees and humidity nearly as high, a fun, festive time was had by all – including the birthday girl herself, despite what the above picture might portray!

The homemade menu included food Fiona loves, including:

• Tortellini and Grilled Vegetable Salad with Feta and Balsamic Dressing

• Summer Berry Kabobs

• White Bean Dip with Mixed Veggies and Pita

• Carrot Cake Mini Cupcakes with green & red cream cheese frosting – and shaped like a caterpillar, of course!

In lieu of gifts for Fiona, we asked party guests to bring new school supplies for the kids living at Genesis Home, a shelter for homeless families in downtown Durham where Ryan serves as Executive Director. As new parents, we talk a lot about how to live our values and pass them on to our daughter. For us, this donation strategy is a great way to lay that foundation for Fiona - and to inspire other kids and parents at the party. In fact, several of our friends commented how moved they felt as they shopped and thought about what it must be like to be child starting a new school year without the supplies he or she needs. Thanks to the generosity at Fi’s party, the kids at Genesis Home will have one less thing to worry about this fall.

On the morning of Fi’s actual birthday, we greeted her by singing happy birthday and had a Happy Birthday banner hanging above her high chair in the kitchen. She opened a few presents - including a new push cart / walking toy.

After presents, we set out for a special, pre-work & daycare family breakfast at Elmo’s, a favorite neighborhood restaurant. I love the idea of having some special tradition for our kids on their actual birthdays – maybe hanging the birthday banner and going out to breakfast will be ours!

I’m so grateful for this amazing last year and for the opportunity to be this special gal’s mom. She inspires me to be more joyful, more fun, more appreciative of every tiny moment.

One Year Later

2010-07-28T12:33:00.003-04:00

"Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride." - Gary Allen

July 27, 2010
9:06 pm

One year ago, I was a 90 minutes away from becoming a mom.

Shoo.

What a year it’s been.

100% transformational.

In my mind, I’ve been blogging along the way – documenting all of the miraculous moments of this journey. But in reality, I hadn't yet figured out how to both ride this crazy, wonderful wave and reflect on it. If I had been writing about these last twelve months, the posts would have had titles like:

Every Parenthood Cliché is True
Now I Know Why Women Can Never Describe Labor
And the Angel of Lord Appeared: One Woman’s Love Affair with Her Epidural
Oh, So THIS is Exhaustion
Why Doesn’t Anyone Ever Talk about How FUN Parenting Is?
Greetings from the Eternal Struggle of a Working Mom
Embracing My Choice & Giving Up the Guilt
Did I Say I Gave Up the Guilt? Like for Good?
Why I’m Really Glad I Didn’t Have a Child:
Without a Strong Marriage
Without a Solid Income
Before I’d Had A LOT of Adventures Alone & With My Husband
Before 30
Thank You Fellow Feminists!
Feminists, What Were You Thinking? This is NOT Progress.
Thank You Mom & Dad
Thank You Mom & Dad – Again.
Endurance Sports Should Be a Parenting Pre-Requisite
How My Blackberry Got Me Through Middle of the Night Feedings
Pumping is My Third Full-Time Job
I’m Too Tired for Christmas
Navigating a New Relationship: How Do I Give Feedback to Our Childcare Provider?
Navigating a New Relationship: How Do I Give Feedback to Our Pediatrician?
Love Like I Never Imagined
How My Daughter Taught Me to Let Go
Did I Say Let Go?
We’ve Made It Through The First Year: Now What?!

And, I would have shared witty stories and beautiful photos from adventures like:

Going through 3 sets of sheets on our first night home with Fiona
Breastfeeding in a Taco Bell parking lot on our first road trip at 3 weeks old
Bonding as a threesome during our first family vacation to Ocracoke Island at 10 weeks old
Rediscovering running (well, I did write about that a little)
Our trips to the Farmer’s Market, Trinity Park, Eno River and all things Durham
Our first Mother’s Day and Father’s Day
Our first camping trip with Fiona
Fi’s first bottle, first stroll, first sitting up, first tooth, first sleep through the night, first words, first, first, amazing first

So with that, I’ll just consider the last year documented….

What I’ve learned from not writing, is that I really miss it. Taking the time to reflect and synthesize helps me learn, grow, and be grateful for and present in this amazing life I’m privileged to lead. And let’s face it, as chronically sleep deprived parent, writing helps me simply remember what our family has been up to!

So today, I’m recommitting to writing it down – the revelatory, the cliché, the mundane.

How do we raise a kind, loving, creative, curious, thoughtful child?
How do I take all that’s been learned by others before me and navigate my own way through balancing work and parenting and marriage and community and self?
How do we build our own family traditions?
Will I ever find a way to get back on my bike?

I’ll be writing about those questions, telling everyday stories from our wonderful life, and using this space to stay in touch with family and friends.

I can't wait to see what this next year brings.

Race Report: Run at the Rock 2009

2009-12-07T10:34:00.000-05:00

“Joy is the feeling of grinning inside.” - Melba Colgrove

Run at the Rock was my first race in over a year, my first race since the 2008 Beach 2 Battleship Half-Iron, and my first race since becoming a mom in July. I have so much to say - about running, about endurance, about motherhood, about me-time - and simultaneously, I have so little to say that doesn't sound incredibly cliche.

Saturday started as every day has for me for the past 4 months: with very little sleep. After going to bed early on Friday night, I awoke at 1 am and 4 am to feed Fiona and then at 6:15 to get ready for the race. Even sleep deprived, I felt so excited to be engaging in my pre-race routine and smiled all the way through my coffee, PB&J, and drive to Burlington.

After arriving at the race site, I sat in my car and pumped before heading out in the rain to pick up my race number and chip. One more thing I never imagined myself doing: pumping breastmilk in the car. Thank you motherhood for new experiences daily. And thank you technology.

I enjoyed time in the car with Sage and friends before lining up with my sister Rachel and fellow Sage Endurance athlete Kara to start our wet and muddy 7-miles. My goals for this race were to enjoy spending time in the woods with Rachel and to finish with a smile. Although my training was very consistent (and involved lots of strength-building stroller pushing!) while I was on maternity leave, coordinating time for a short run more than a 2-3 days per week since I've gone back to full-time work has been impossible.

The weather was terrible and, from the onset, the mud was incredible. But I have to admit, it didn't really phase me. I was SO, SO happy to simply be running, to have a morning to myself, and to spend some old school time running REALLY slowly with my sister (We started running together in 2002 as we trained for our first half-marathon and have run so many long, slow runs over the years. She's the best partner I could ever have. Once, I even flew to Florida to meet her for a 20 mile training run because I couldn't stand the thought of doing it without her).

We rambled along at the only pace that made sense (slow!) and found it MUCH easier to simply slosh right through the mud then to try to run on the sides of the trail. We each fell once. We walked to catch our breaths whenever we felt like it.

Around mile 5, my body reminded me that I had a baby 18 weeks ago and that strong abs / stable hips are very helpful when trail running in those conditions - but as Sage told me would happen, endurance is just different after going through labor. It's also different after running consistently for the last seven years and for the first time, I really felt to benefits of muscle memory and baseline conditioning. I noticed some minor discomfort and moved on.

We crested the last hill to the finish, heard my brother-in-law Dave cheer (as he always does!) for us to put the hammer down, and charged through the chute.

Pouring rain. Mud, mud, mud. No sleep. PR for my slowest 7-miles. Best race ever.

7 miles
1:25:46 (12:15 min / mile)
Age Group: 16/36
Overall: 250 / 360

Preparations

2009-05-27T17:42:00.000-04:00

"Some people are making such thorough preparation for rainy days that they aren't enjoying today's sunshine.” - William Feather

With only 8 weeks left until Baby Fehrman arrives, we're slowly making preparations.

Over the last few weeks, we've:

Enjoyed a week-long vacation at the beach. Maternity swimsuits, 12-hour drives while 8 months pregnant, and pregnancy skin in the Florida sun offer a host of brand new adventures these days.

Transformed our former office into our new guest room and our former guest room into the beginnings of a nursery.

Grown significantly since this picture was taken at 28 weeks.

Most of all, Ryan and I are simply enjoying each other's company and dreaming about the very real person our future daughter will soon be.

Next up, baby showers, childbirth classes, and maternity leave!

For all of the Mother's Days to Come

2009-05-15T09:52:00.001-04:00

As the years pass and my future child grows, I want to remember THIS.

A Series of Moments

2009-04-27T16:54:00.000-04:00

"I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dripped it carelessly, Ah! I didn't know, I held opportunity.” - Hazel Lee

Time is ticking away and I find myself at the start of my third trimester. 12 more weeks to go!

Although I haven't been updating this blog very often, it's not for lack of reflection on this process. Not at all. Instead, the process has been so personal - both miraculous and banal - that I'm finding putting it all into words extremely difficult.

Over the last few months, there have been amazing moments:

Laying in bed one night after an amazing prenatal yoga class and recognizing that I truly love this little being inside me. I know nothing about her and yet feel more strongly about her than I ever have of anyone.

And irritating moments:

Folks seem to think that pregnant women are wearing a sign that says "Yes, blessed stranger, please share your opinion with me." My latest favorite: Our brunch waitress nearly refusing to serve me cup of regular coffee and, when I insisted, insinuating that I would "doing anything to get that baby to come early." Thank you, madame MD.

And a lot of simple, beautiful, everyday life moments:

Sitting on the couch with my husband's hand on my belly feeling our little girl squirm and experiencing complete contentment.
Looking out the rear view mirror as I left my parent's house this weekend and realizing that the next time I visit that house I, myself, will be a parent.
Hearing our little girl's heartbeat at each doctor appointment and completely forgetting day's worries and to-do lists.

In these moments, my life is changing forever. I guess it always has. I'm grateful that pregnancy has made me notice.

What is it the time for now?

2009-03-30T15:45:00.002-04:00

"Happiness is not a brilliant climax to years of grim struggle and anxiety. It is a long succession of little decisions simply to be happy in the moment.” - J. Donald Walters
A colleague with divinity background once told me that this is one of his favorite questions for reflection: What is it the time for now?

As I think back on how I spent so much of my time over the last two years and how different that is from how I am currently spending it, the question keeps coming up. It's certainly coming up with regard to my physical activities - as I get lapped in the pool and watch others do intervals in circles around me and notice the bike in my shed that hasn't been ridden since November 1 and cheer for my friends as triathlon season begins.

More importantly, it's coming up as I think about this time in my life, my pregnancy, and the choices that brought to me to where I am today. I realized last week that I could not have done this even one year earlier. I wasn't ready physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally. For me, THIS is the time - the perfect time - to journey into parenthood. And while that means it's not the time for those other things, I know that it will be again someday. Instead now is the time to notice the process and not focus on the goal; now is the time to remember breath and form; now is the time to celebrate the pleasures of being outside and not worry about the clock.

Simply being -- instead of always doing.

Getting to Know You

2009-03-17T17:15:00.000-04:00

"Children don’t belong to us…They are little strangers who arrive in our lives and give us pleasure and duty of caring for them – but we don’t own them. We help them become who they are." – Ruth Nuneviller Steinem

Nineteen weeks ago we did our first half-iron triathlon.

You: a collection of cells looking for a place to hunker down.

Me: a 30-year old woman no longer searching; instead, creating her life, fulfilling a goal, not knowing that you were there.

We crossed that finish line and instantly a new adventure began. Two weeks later, the test said YES and everything changed.

Now, I find it so difficult to find the words. Obviously, clichés exist for a reason. It’s so clearly no longer just about me. You are making this known in every way:

Physically- my body’s changing shape, the reality of new physical limitations, feeling your light, tapping (especially when it’s time for dessert).

Emotionally – new, less tangible goals, no coach to tell me what to do and how to do it.

Spiritually – a connection to so many who have walked this path before me.

Now, half-way to the day you’ll join us here, I finally believe that you are real and my excitement becomes more palpable every day. Now, I wonder who you will become and how we will factor in to that becoming.

How do we nurture our daughter’s developing soul life? We must allow her to grow in her natural ways, being open to her wildness, her quirks, her inklings toward her destiny. We must teach her to sing; tell her the old myths and stories; let her howl in the moonlight, or whatever behavior nurtures her unique nature. Our daughter’s soul development requires us to defend her right to go her own way. - Raising a Daughter: Parents and the Awakening of a Healthy Woman, Jeanne Elium & Don Elium

Under Construction

2008-11-18T14:00:00.001-05:00

I'm enjoying the off season and will be back blogging away in 2009!